My amazing writing about the park

The park was icy like you were on a ski field.The ice was sparkling on the grass at the park.You could feel the icy grass melting on your feet and the wind swishing all around you.The flowers were trying to bloom out of their shell. There was a whole meadow of flowers and grass. Also bushes. The trees were covered in leaves. There was so many that it reminded me that I saw a man in a shop with so many tattoos. That’s what the tree looked like. There was different kinds of trees. You could hear birds chirping and singing with excitement because finally summer was here. You could taste polon off the flowers.

 

     what I found challenging is to find better verbs and and make it instersting for the reader. by jamielee

The delious biscuits

The biscuits taste like heaven.You could smell them from a mile away.You could feel the cookie doe softing in my hand.I hear crunch crunch when it went in my mouth.I could see heaps of delicious cookies on the table.I could even see my brother trying to steal them all because he’s a cookie monster.

We had to write a descriptive writing about the delious biscuits.By Jamielee

Instersting facts about stomach

What dakota and I found challenging was finding heaps of facts of google and what we already new.

Motorbike descriptive writing

Zoom zoom! Beep beep “move it” I yell as I zoom past a car. It is as speedy as lightning. I was so excited to go for a new adventure.  I was going on 4hr ride on the countryside road. The road was different colors because of a cheap old thing on the road. Now I have to pass it because I want to keep on the road. So I can get to my camping place. The motorcycle’s wheels were burning it smelt like burnt rubber. I could feel bugs drooping down my shirt and the wind beneath my eyes.”I wish I brought my special goggles” saying to myself with a whisper. I shot off  in the night.I could hear my tyres rubbing against the ground they were flat as a popped balloon.And the road was covered with gasoline and oil everywhere. Remind myself to never take adventure again saying to myself.

We were learning to show not tell and wasn't aloud to put the word fast in our writing.

Show don't tell writing

Ewww what the heck she said with a terrified face.It was a weird bug it had a dark brown shell with nippers and a hard head it felt like a helmet. Her eyes popped with fright she could smell fear in the air. Her heart pounded it sounded like thunder.her eyes looked like they were crossed. Her mouth went wide open her face screwed up as it moved then she found out what sort of bug it was it was a weta its face looked like a ant face its body was a weird shape its whole body was dark brown It was medium size. She gasped with fright.